Feeling inadequate?

This morning I picked up a little book a friend gave me a few months ago, after hearing me mention that Corrie ten Boom was one of my heroes.  The book is called “Amazing Love.”  In each short chapter, you see Christ, not Corrie.  Norman Grubb writes in the book’s forward:

“I was blessed again and again
by the instances of her own child-like
dependence on Him as her wisdom,
by His responses to her faith,
and by the wise and winning ways
in which she has been able to
commend Him to so many.” 

As I read chapter 6, I was encouraged that, though Corrie was greatly used of God, this great woman of faith had feelings of inadequacy, too.

After speaking to some university students, Corrie and a Mrs. Jameson were talking.  Mrs. Jameson tells Corrie that what she just told the students was interesting, but she didn’t feel that what Corrie said was true.  Then she went on to tell Corrie how much experience she had and all the outstanding people she had been able to talk to…and on and on… And she ends with, “You told the students so positively that we need Him, but that is not true.”

“Your argument is not with me, but with the Bible,” Corrie tells her.  “It is not I who say so, but the Bible.  Jesus said, ‘No man cometh unto the Father but by Me’ (John 14:6).”

After this conversation Corrie admits to feeling somewhat abashed.  She goes on to say,

“A sense of inadequacy often comes over me when I talk with people who are so much better informed than I.  At such times this work seems much too difficult for me.  Later on I talked it over with a friend who said,

‘You should not try to be anything but an open channel for the Spirit of God.  You never can be anything else, even though you may think so at times.  Follow the pathway of obedience, and you will be used by God far beyond your own powers.’

“A reception was being held in Ottawa, Canada, for all who wished to meet H.R.H. Prince Bernard of the Netherlands.  It was a pleasure to see so many Hollanders together.  The Prince looked tired, but was cheerful and kind to everyone who addressed him.  Photographers surrounded him as they took pictures of him from all sides, in conversation with some important person, or with a sweet country child in his arms.

“I met many old acquaintances.  And then, suddenly, I was face to face with Mrs. Jameson.

“‘I am glad to see you,’ said she.  ‘You know, I just cannot forget what you said to me when you spoke at our university.  Jesus said, “No man cometh unto the Father but by Me.”  I keep thinking about that.’

“‘How wonderful!’ I said.  ‘You have listened to the voice of God.  Now go on listening and read the Bible.  He still has much more to say to you.’

“The Word of God is living and powerful.”

I don’t know about  you, but I struggle with feelings of inadequacy…far too often.  It’s a bad, bad habit of mine.  Too often I look around at others – what they are doing, how God is using them, how others seem to look at them with love and respect – and I want to run and find a hole to crawl into.  Too often I forget that we’re told not to compare ourselves among ourselves (that is in the Bible!).  Far too often I fall into that “you’re better than me” trap and too often I believe it.

But thankfully, the Lord often reminds me that its not about ME but HIM!  That’s what this is all about.  Not I, but Christ.

Oh.  Right.

Sigh.

That’s why it’s so so important to read your Bible every single day.  Every. Single. Day.

(Yes I said, every single day. 😉 )

It’s how God speaks to us.  How He keeps us reminded of even the simplest truths.  And we all need reminders, right?  (or am I the only one??)

Starting this blog has been a great source of doubt for me.  I question myself and wonder if it was really the Lord that prompted me to do it.  I wonder why I don’t have words to write another post.  I look at drafts I’ve started, notes in my journal I’ve jotted down, and they stay “drafts” and “notes” instead of a full blown blog post.

But each and every time these doubts come, a still small voice encourages me and assures me that when it’s time to write He will give the words needed.  I just need to follow the pathway of obedience...and sit back and watch HIM work far beyond my own powers.  It may not always look powerful or spectacular, but oh how thrilling it is to know that He is doing the work…and that He is actually willing to use little ole me.